Three Ways to Make Asking for Help the Norm

I read this stat and laughed, and then felt the gut punch of, yep, that tracks:
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One in three employees would rather clean a toilet than ask a coworker for help.
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It’s not about a love for Clorox. It’s about fear, discomfort, and a lack of trust that runs so deep people would rather suit up with a toilet brush than risk vulnerability.When asking for help feels unsafe, people stay silent, burnout grows, mistakes multiply, and innovation dries up. Here’s the good news: this isn’t inevitable. You can shift it.

Three Ways to Make Asking for Help the Norm

1. Normalize it from the top.
   Share openly when you ask for help. Be explicit: “I needed another perspective, so I asked Drea to weigh in.” Your modeling sends a powerful message: asking for help is expected and wise.
   
   
2. Respond with gratitude, not just answers.
   When someone comes to you for help, start with, “Thank you for trusting me with this.” That short sentence can rewrite someone’s internal script about whether it’s safe to reach out.
   
   
3. Make it a team value.
   During meetings, try this check-in: “What’s one thing you could use help with this week?” When it’s a shared expectation, the stigma fades.
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I’ve coached enough teams to know that the cost of silence is enormous. But when we create spaces where help flows freely, we build the kind of resilient, high-trust culture where people want to show up, where they feel safe to learn, and where meaningful work gets done.
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If you want to dive deeper into building that kind of culture, our Teams Learning Library offers practical tools you can use immediately—conversation templates, meeting structures, and strategies for strengthening trust.
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Because no one should ever feel that scrubbing a toilet is preferable to speaking up.

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Start with my Mastering the Trust Equation and Conquering the Capacity Challenge Skill Sessions in the Teams Learning Library—they’re packed with scripts and activities that make asking for (and offering) help part of your team’s DNA.

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