When the Unthinkable Becomes All Too Real

Every child deserves to be safe at school. Every educator and school employee deserves to be safe at school. Every day.

And yet, in the very first week of a new school year, the United States has already experienced another school shooting. Two children are dead. Many more are injured. It should be unimaginable—and yet we are forced to imagine it again and again. My heart aches for those directly impacted, for those retraumatized, and for all of us forced to endure this reality because of the profound failure of those in power to enact change.

To all of you who hold space for your students, colleagues, and clients, I am sending you love and strength. And I want to remind you to carve out space for yourself, as well.

We’ve grown accustomed to returning to “business as usual.” But just because this violence is common does not make it normal. And just because you may have learned to compartmentalize does not mean you don’t need—and deserve—the time to feel the fullness of your feelings.

Please allow yourself that space. And when you’re ready to hold it for others. Here are a few prompts that may help you begin. And I pray we never need them for this purpose again.

If you are a Coach

• Before a meeting, pause for a moment of reflection. Ask yourself: “What do I need to release so I can be present? What do I need to carry with me so I can stay grounded?”
• Centering the body: Begin with: “Before we start, let’s take one slow breath together. Feel your feet on the ground. Notice that you’re here.”
• Naming capacity: Ask: “What feels possible for you in this conversation today? And what feels like too much?”

If you are a Leader

• Name the reality: Start your meeting by saying, “I know many of us are carrying heaviness. You don’t need to leave that at the door.” Normalizing grief builds trust.
• Offer choice: Give your team an option at the start: share one word, sit quietly, or simply breathe. Choice respects different needs in processing trauma.
• Reframe priorities: Begin by asking, “Given everything, what truly matters most for us to focus on today?” This disrupts the pressure to “push through” and makes room for humanity.

If you are a Facilitator or PD Provider

• Acknowledge the room’s energy: Begin by saying, “Before we dive in, let’s take a moment to notice what energy we’re each bringing into this space. You might name it silently to yourself, jot it down, or share one word aloud.” This honors the collective emotional state without requiring everyone to share.
• Invite grounding through movement: Before diving in, ask everyone to stretch, place their feet firmly on the ground, or roll their shoulders. This resets collective energy.
• Model vulnerability: Share one emotion you are carrying as you begin. Something as simple as, “I’m holding sadness today, and I also want to hold space for us to learn together” gives others permission to be real.