The coaching question that feels like a hug
October 9, 2023
My favorite coaching question is not technically a question. It’s simply, “Tell me more…”
To me, this statement feels like a hug, both when I say it to a client, and when my coach or therapist says it to me. It feels like the most gentle way to hold space, to say, I’m here. I’m listening. I’ve got all the time in the world for you. What else?
The magic isn’t in the words, however. The magic (and warm embrace) is in your presence. The words themselves aren’t particularly powerful and they can even feel empty (imagine a robot saying them). But they can be transformative if delivered with full presence, attention, and care. This way of being is communicated in your tone of voice, facial expressions, body language, and the pitch and pace of what you say.
Try it: Lean forward, soften your tone, relax your jaw and the tiny muscles around your eyes, and then say, “Tell me more about that.”
And be ok with silence. Let someone find what they want to tell you.
It’s really simple, and also not so simple—because if you’re not fully present, if your mind and heart and body and spirit aren’t completely available to your client, these words won’t have the impact they could.
Here’s a challenge for you for this week: See how many times you can say, “Tell me more,” accompanied by full presence. And pay attention to the impact those words have.
How I reflect on the year
December 4, 2023
The season of reflection and intention-setting has begun. I love thinking back over the year and identifying all the learning, and getting clear on what I want for the next year.
How to celebrate Coach Appreciation Day
November 5, 2023
Coach Appreciation Day was yesterday, but since it was a Sunday, you can celebrate today, or any time this week! Here are a few suggestions for how to celebrate...
Did You Make it Through?
October 30, 2023
Congratulations. It’s the end of October! I want to say, you made it through, but what does it mean to “make it through?” Also, perhaps we should aspire to more than just “making it through.” So here are some Look Back reflection prompts to expand your notion of what it means to successfully reach the end of a month.
Intention can be a placebo
October 15, 2023
I have talked and written a lot about setting intentions before coaching sessions or meetings. Often we set an intention, and then forget all about it, and then after the meeting we remember and think, oh! I forgot all about it but it happened anyway!