“These kids can’t…”

April 15, 2024

“These kids can’t…” 

I’m guessing you can fill in what comes next with a wide range of problematic beliefs. That’s the easy part. 

The harder part is how to respond. Or rather, the harder part is how to respond in a way that can support your client, or staff member, to release that problematic belief and adopt one that will serve them and serve their students. 

How do you respond in these moments? 

What did you just experience when you read that question? 

  • Did your mind go to what you might say or do?
  • Did you feel discomfort or fear in your body?
  • Did you realize you don’t know how you would respond? 
  • Did you want to stop reading and focus on something less demanding? 

Transformational Coaches and leaders start with themselves. 

My newest book, Arise: The Art of Transformational Coaching (July 2024), has two chapters dedicated to coaching for equity. And another three on coaching emotions. And even more on preparing ourselves to coach. And of course, a lot of concrete strategies. It has so much because in many ways, this is complex. And it’s also simple: when we tend to ourselves, we can tend to others. 

Respond, don’t react. 

The trick to doing this with (relative) ease, is by working through your own stuff proactively, so you’re not reacting in the moment. Equipped with self-knowledge and strategies to navigate your own emotional response, you can then respond with effective coaching moves. If you can do this, you have a good chance at loosening up those sticky problematic beliefs. 

It’s easier said than done. 

I’ll be the first to admit that this isn’t easy. There’s a reason why Arise is 500+ pages! There’s a lot to learn. But that’s okay! As humans, we love to learn and grow. And here’s more good news:

  • These skills are all learnable. 
  • I can teach you how. 

Here are three next steps that will help. 

Here’s one more step to take: cultivate your self-compassion. You care deeply. You’re working hard. You have areas to grow in as we all do. You can do it. You deserve support. You don’t need to have all the answers today. Just keep going. And as you do, know I’ll keep being here for you. 

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